Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
