after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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