Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
