Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
