I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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