I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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