I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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