you guys were way drunker than both of me
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
