Sry I called you an 8
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
