I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we made out on top of his cat.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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