Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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