I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
