Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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