well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
