He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize