Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
