Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
