just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hippo gnu deer
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
