Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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