i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
