All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
