Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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