Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
