Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Randomize