4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
