I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
