i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize