I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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