I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
