i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
