Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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