tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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