i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
