And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
