I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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