It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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