And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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