Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
