I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The Olympian is in my bed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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