The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
