So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
