I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
