it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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