Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
