she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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