just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
