So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
