I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
