So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
