It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
