My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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