She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
