We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize