Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Shame - the story of my life.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize