Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
