So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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