really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
