At least make sure they are 18
Why
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
