I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
