the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
