Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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