who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
