No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
